It wasn't so long ago that I used to think that becoming a mother had to be the easiest transition I ever had to make in my life. It was afterall supposed to come instinctively. Looking back now, I am amused at how naive and idealistic I was.
Motherhood has to be the hardest mission in any woman's life. It is the beginning of a new journey- one that puts you at the helm of another person's life. Being a parent means shaping, moulding and instilling discipline, sense of morality and values in your child so that he or she can grow up to be a wonderful and caring person, as well as a useful member of society. I am still coming to terms with the size of this responsibility. It is very, very overwhelming and might I add, scary.
My opinion of how I want to live my life has altered drastically especially when I realised that every action, every decision I choose to make will in some way or another influence my child. My life is no longer my own. It will always include Sarah till the day I die. Putting it that way makes most things clearer to me and I am no longer bothered by the trivial matters that use to bog me down. Family and relations are far more important than my obsession with myself. It is a hard pill to swallow but I have made my choice and I should just do the best that I can bringing up my child.
I am worried about how Sarah will turn out in the future; I am anal about her diet and daily activities. These are aspects I need to change. I have to learn how to slow down and enjoy my journey as a mother to my baby. Motherhood is afterall about the journey AS WELL AS the destination. I suppose if I keep my mind on the destination and with alot of prayers, everything will fall into place. I just need to have faith. =)
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